Forms of My Guardian Angel

The two forms are real and they appeared to me.

When I was young, my guardian angel didn’t have to worry about scaring me, so it appeared often to comfort me.

When I was three, I would lay on my bed and it would regularly appear as an orb of light that would slowly move back and forth near the top of my bedroom wall. I knew it was holy and close to God. I felt so comforted. The movements were like a lullaby sending me softly to sleep. When I moved in to different bedrooms in the house as I aged, the orb followed me to the different rooms.

However, when I was eight, I woke up one night and the orb of light was right above me on the headboard. I looked toward the foot of the bed to find its source. When I looked back, it was gone. I was so scared. I never saw it again.

When I didn’t accept my guardian angel as it was, it stopped appearing to me in that form. My logical mind was looking for its cause and I feared what could not be explained by cause and effect.

As I grew, I often wished that I could become childlike enough again for it to return to me in its original form.

However, my guardian angel has worked hard over the years to keep me safe. Here is just one example when I was eight.

Our little league baseball coach dropped us off at the school and we all went our separate ways home. Since I lived in the country, I was to go to my oldest brother’s girlfriend’s apartment, which was about three blocks away. The sky was bright with no signs of trouble anywhere.

It was about a three block walk and I dawdled my way down the sidewalk. I then cut across an empty playground. Suddenly, I heard a very strong voice from behind that forcefully said, “Run!” I looked behind me but no one was there. I remember thinking that I don’t want to run, so I didn’t. A few moments later, the voice returned and it was so forceful that I could not disobey it. “RUN!” I began running but I didn’t know why I was running and I didn’t want to be running, but I was.

I reached the building and rang the doorbell for her second story apartment. She came downstairs to let me in. Thirty seconds after being let in, the electricity went off and I would have been stranded outside at the door if I had arrived any later. A strong wind came up and the trees rocked back and forth. One tipped over right next to her building. We rode the storm out in her apartment and later learned that a tornado had hit the town.

I am so grateful to my guardian angel for the many occasions that it kept me safe. Also, I am probably unaware of many other occasions.

I wish to see my guardian angel again the way it used to appear to me—as a beautiful, gentle orb of light that lulled me to sleep with the back and forth movement. God, help me to become childlike enough again to experience this. Hush my scientific mind that fears effects without known causes.

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The One-Eyed Healer

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Christmas Eve at St. Francis Zoo (Advent)